20

JULY 6, 1989- JULY 6, 2009

we made it.
tomorrow we take the vows.
yippee.

M E S S Y

i myself, HATE messes.
i HATE disorder.
i HATE things outta place.

so maybe you're wondering why i am still alive because LIFE IS MESSY, right?

well, i try so often to live in an UnMESSy world.
it doesn't work so well, in case you're wondering.

what do you do when people you encounter have a life MORE MESSY than yours?

it's one thing to deal with what you deal with, but HOW DO YOU RESPOND WHEN SOMEONE LIVES AT A LEVEL BELOW
"YOUR" STANDARDS?

Emotional Affair FLAGS: 1-5

JUST IN CASE - FYI -
i hope you'll scroll down to RED FLAGS 6-10 to join in and to create more DIA-blog Concerning the 2nd half of the ten .
thankyou for being apart of the conversation.

Here are RED FLAGS 1-5

Red Flag #1: You Think or Say, "We're Just Friends."

If you have caught yourself thinking or saying, "but we're just friends," you are probably already in trouble. "But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous words for a relationship. These words are usually said to rationalize something you know is wrong. Rationalize might also be spelled "rational lies."

Red Flag #2: You Daydream About Him or Her

This should be a loud, screaming clue. Do you think and daydream about your "regular" friends in this way?

Red Flag #3: You Look Forward to Seeing Him or Her

If you feel excitement, anticipation, or a quickening of your pulse as you get ready to see the person, watch out.

Red Flag #4: You Want to Tell Them News First

This means that this person has become your primary emotional confidant.

Red Flag #5: You Share Intimate Emotions

This flows naturally from this person being your primary emotional confidant. Because emotional affairs can be harder to break than purely physical ones, you can get trapped right here.

Emotional Affair FLAGS: 6-10

OKAY OKAY. i get it. i get it.
posting these within the comments doesn't bring them out.
so ... here are number 6-10

Red Flag #6: You Share Intimate Problems

This practice is especially dangerous if you are sharing problems in your marriage or relationship with the other person.

Red Flag #7: You Believe He or She Understands You More Than Your Spouse

Of course it looks like they do. That is part of the illusion of the affair. Believing this draws you away from your partner and toward the other person.

Red Flag #8: You Keep Secrets and Cover Up

Secrets bond two people together against a third person.

Red Flag #9: You Give Gifts

Are you giving gifts you would not normally give to a friend? Things to wear, jewelry, and other intimate gifts come with a message: we are very close.

Red Flag #10: You Spend More Time Alone

So many people say this was the one that pushed them over the edge. They had promised themselves nothing would happen, but the temptation and availability of time alone - with the person just a phone call away - was too much to resist.

so ... is this you???

EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS and TOP 10 RED FLAGS

WHAT IS AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR???

An emotional affair is defined as any infidelity that occurs through feeling or thought. With the technological development of cell phones and the internet, the definition of cheating has been expanded to include the traditional definition, plus the feelings and/or thoughts that comprise emotional infidelity.

Cheating now includes having intimate correspondence with someone while on a cell phone, meeting someone over the Internet and maintaining a close, personal relationship with someone other than your spouse.

i will post the TOP 10 RED FLAGS in the comments part of this blog .

So how do you define an emotional affair???

Have you had one, or are you having one???

My Journey Video from Colonial Baptist Church

This video tells the story of my introduction into the world of PORNOGRAPHY.

it also details how deep i went, when i decided to get help.

the pain along the way, and how God can use a pervert like me.

this video was played at my church during both sunday morning services.

over 800 people saw it... now its your turn.

Feel free to pass this link on or to email this site. i no longer am concerned with

embarassment and shame, but rather the freedom of fellow porn addicts.

http://www.colonialonline.org/

Love & Marriage

1985 Tina Turner scored a record comeback as she turned the music world upside down with the smashing album, SIMPLY THE BEST.

Unfortunately a LARGE percentage of marriages are upside down too.

my question for you, wise blogger is,

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH MARRIAGE?

Can you have a marriage without love, and can it survive?

Can you be comitted, but have LOST that LOVIN FEELIN?

i don't mean to be insentive, especially if you read this and you have a hole in your heart, WHERE LOVE USED TO BE.

i only want your opinion on the matter.

please specify if yours is from a christ following view.